Voice

“Hey, you've got John!”

“I know very well who you are, you stinking son-of-a-bitch.”

“Ahhaha, what’s up?”

“I’ll tell you what’s up! You’re a nasty, low down, pathetic excuse for a human!”

“What?”

“Don’t act like you don’t understand what I’m saying! You miserable little prick, you wasted the best years of my life! I can’t stand you! I hate you!”

“Hang on…”

“DON’T YOU TELL ME TO HANG ON, ASSHOLE. I’ve waited enough for you to grow up and be a freaking man, instead of the whiny bitch-boy pansy-ass taint you are! I’m through waiting! I’m through with you!”

“Wh... Okay, yeah, yeah…”

“Yeah, yeah, you bastard!  I’m not gonna let you get away with this shit. You greasy pustule-crawling worm, you think you can cheat on me like that and be just fiiiine, huh! Well, I’ve got news for you, asshole! Tonight you can go screw your filthy little skank girlfriend- I’m gonna be halfway to Los Angeles tonight, and I’m taking all 'OUR' money with me, you mother fucking leech! Have fun bonking your slut when you can’t even afford condoms!”

“Wait, what?”

“You can just eat shit as far as I care, I don’t ever want to hear from you again! Go fuck yourself and die, you choad-faced dog!”

“Haha, gotcha! I'm not here right now, leave a message at the beep!”

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

“Hey baby… gotta love that voice mail, soooo funny, haha. Hey, I’m not gonna be able to make it to dinner tonight, my boss asked me to work late. I’ll text you though, okay? Love youuuuuuuu.”